Miracle — a highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment that brings very welcome consequences.
Through prayer, my conversations with people, and my journal, I’ve used the word “miracle” at least five times a day during the last two weeks. Everyday I have asked God to make a way where there doesn’t seem to be one; where there’s a wall instead of a path.
As of early yesterday afternoon, Michael and I have submitted all of our paperwork to our immigration lawyer. Right now we are trying to get a Humanitarian Parole approved for me, which will allow me back into the U.S. These applications get approved or denied based on the level or severity of need with each individual. My personal application is pertaining to my job as a Social Worker, and the government will decide if it’s urgent enough. We are stressing that this unexpected event has put not only Michael and I under serious stress, but my employer and the clients that I serve. Over the last week and a half we have been collecting documents, writing letters, and working non-stop to get everything that we can to prove that I will be a “benefit” to the U.S and that I have a life there waiting for me. Today, Michael and I sent all that we have regarding this plea to our lawyer and we move on to the next step in the process — the waiting game.
A friend of my mom’s reminded her today that our reality as believers is that even when we think we have our day-to-day figured out, we really don’t. This is where and when we must cling to what we say we believe. Nobody likes waiting; you have no control when you’re waiting. You don’t know what the outcome is going to be, what your next steps are or if the news is going to be good or bad. All you can do is trust that God has His hand on the situation and that He’s got everything under control — much easier said than done. Michael and I have no idea how long we’ll be in this waiting game. We don’t know if the government will see our case as a priority or not, there’s no solid time frame, and there’s nothing more that we can physically do. This is not something that I am good at: the “not doing anything, thing.” I don’t like not knowing or not being able to do something. I like knowing what the next steps are and having clear timeframes.
On Sunday, I listened to a sermon about prayer and our response to the prayers we pray. The preacher spoke about praying like Jesus and having faith that can shake the ground beneath you. He also talked about our response to our prayers. He asked us this simple question, “Are you eager to see how God answers your prayers”? Reading this, it seems pretty straight-forward and as if the answer to it would be easy. But when I really thought about it, I was taken aback by my answer. Throughout this entire separation, I have not stopped praying. I think I’ve had a constant prayer going on in my head asking God to take hold of this situation since I left the border, but I have not once taken a step back to eagerly wait and see what God does; what His answer to the prayer is going to be.
I do this so often and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I ask God for something and then I move on to the next thing I want him to do or just continue praying for the same thing. I never think about the outcome or even really acknowledge when my prayer is answered. I might say a quick thank you and then move on to the next thing. How crazy is that?? How can I pray for something but not wait and be excited about what He can do?
As much as I dislike this “waiting game,” it is the perfect opportunity for me to practice eagerly waiting for God’s answers, whether they are what I want to hear or not. There is nothing more that I can do. Michael and I have done what we can do and now our job is to wait; to trust that the Lord has this. To continue to pray without ceasing and to cling to what we know to be true of Him. To pray for a miracle. That a path would be cleared; a way where there seems to be none.
And I will take time to step back and see God’s hands at work.
We see God already working, answering prayers by providing legal counsel, keeping you safe with family while you remain in Ontario, and supporting Michael in Nashville, hundreds of friends and family members becoming partners in prayer for your return.
While it’s easy to say, “you’re not alone” we know it must feel that way at times. But you are never alone, God placed His Spirit within you and with that power, mountains can move. You remain in our hearts and we speak Jesus’ name prayerfully throughout our days to keep Him present, and know that we are never forgetting His hand in this waiting phase. Hold tight to your faith, we realize it is being tested. We know the outcome, but yes, the waiting we all hope is soon just a memory. Love you sweetheart, so much.
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Kohl, as you have said, waiting is very tough. God knows and He has plans. So glad you are trying to rest in them.
Take time to learn something new, something that you would not otherwise have thought of doing – that is after you have rested, walked and rested your soul. God wants to go deep into your soul and He wants you to trust him.
Love you my friend
Jean Ankenmann
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